Procrastinative (new word, i just made it up because that's part of the diversion process) Diversions

Procrastinative diversions in order to avoid preparing a Young Women Lesson for 8:30 am church:

1. Eat a peanut butter cookie with a Hersey kiss on it
2. Try to think of something to blog about
3. Flip through the menu on Dish network
4. Reject the following TV shows:

"Peyote to LSD: A Psychedelic Odyssey" on the History Channel
"Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason" on one of those chick channels

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" (Tim would have totally watched this because of the Angelina Jolie Factor. He had a not so silent crush on Angelina Jolie, and I know this from when she was in that movie where she played a news anchor and wore a blonde wig. During this movie, he kept leaning over to me in the theatre and saying "she looks so good as a blonde she looks so good as a blonde". I wanted to smack him then, so I'm not going to watch her tonight)

"Miss Rap Supreme" on VH1
"Egyptian Conjoined Twins" on Discovery Health
"National Heads up Poker Championship" on the who cares network
"Reign of the Gargoyles" on some channel I never watch.

"Head to Toe Runway Show" on QVC. You see, I have a theory about TV shopping shows. I think depressed people watch them. You don't have to go anywhere, you can watch in your yammies, you can eat and drink cocoa while you watch AND shop. Yep. It's for the depressed. Right after Tim died, I became a little obsessed with QVC and Home Shopping Network. I have memories of watching it ALOT. The people were SO nice, and happy and what they said MADE SO MUCH SENSE. Everything was so happy and positive and it just felt good to have that manic chatter on. I just sat there glassey eyed, with my cocoa, and my phone. And my credit card. I bought these containers that I was going to store fabric in that seemed like such a good idea at the time. I bought TWO BOXES of them. One of the boxes is sitting behind me, in the den closet unopened after 4 years. I also bought (this is embarrassing) a Scunci Steamer because I was absolutely CONVINCED that I was going to need it. Ask me how many times I have used it. I'm sure I would use it twice a day were it not for THE DEAFENING NOISE it makes the entire time it is on. We're talking migrain loud. I also bought a fruit dryer that I sent back when my right mind returned and I realized what in the heck am I going to do with that?? PEOPLE! I WAS VULNERABLE! These stations and infomercials prey on the vulnerable in our society (pitiful widows). So you see, I'm not watching "Head to Toe Runway Show" tonight because I'm not in a depressive, vulnerable state any more, and if I tried to watch it I would honestly think Who in their right mind watches this ridiculous tripe? I don't mean to offend, but if you watch QVC or HSN you honestly need to get yourself some help. It is a sign. A big fat pink neon sign. Blinking. Off and On. In your face.

As you can see here, I really needed one of these after Tim died to steam clean all of my kid's toys. My youngest was a senior in high school at the time. And yes, I do have the handy carrying case made of heavy duty rip-stop nylon.

Lookey here... I have become distracted from the diversion. Part of the master plan. Focus on the list Mommacita!

5. Eat another peanut butter cookie
6. Wonder how the people in the entertainment industry are dreaming up shows about gargoyles and peyote. Are they merely experiencing Procrastinative Diversion and turning it into a money making scheme?
7. Make all of the TV Show titles in this blog have a different color.
8. Remind myself that it is 9:17 so get crackulating
9. Remind myself that it is 9:18 so get crackulating for reals