Friday, May 24, 2013

#pleasecluemein

Could someone please explain to me what the dickens hashtags are?  Because I have no idea.

Ok.  I have a few ideas.

Like, I think they might have something to do with twittering, or twouting, but I'm not really sure what.  I gleaned this information from Jimmy Falon.  But he didn't explain it, he just acted like I am supposed to know what they are.  I have no clue what they are.  Or how they work.  Or their purpose.  Maybe that's the gig...maybe they don't have a purpose.

I wonder if they have something to do with instagram, and again, I'm not really sure what.  I just know that when people have a photo on facebook, then there are a bunch of hashtags that describe the photo.  Like:  #cuteasabutton    for a picture of their baby wearing a headpiece with buttons and feathers exploding on it.  Is a hashtag a way to identify a photo, like giving a jpeg file a name?  But if that were the case, then why are there so MANY hashtags given to the baby photo with buttons/feathers?  #mylil'featherdancer  #daddyslittlecuteasabutton  #grandmathinksimprecious    And why are the hashtags so LONG sometimes?  I have to really study them and I don't mind saying that I find it cumbersome.

Which leads me to the next wonder.  I wonder if hashtags are really just a way to describe whatever you need to describe at the moment.  Like when Mariah Carrey (and if you have read this freaky thing at all you will remember that Mariah Carrey is my MHCE.  Most Hated Celebrity Ever.)speaks in hashtags to describe a performance:   "Hashtag Amazing".  "Hashtag out of this Universe"  Her words not mine.

Which brings me to my next point which makes me feel like a shriveled up little grannie who knits with her glasses perched on her nose (#ithinkthatsmetheirtalkingabout).  I am slipping off the grid.  And its because I don't know what hashtags are.

My 40 year high school reunion is this summer and I'm not sure I can go because of this hashtag thing.

#allivedonesincethelastoneisknitandsew

#muffintop

#havenothadbotox

#notamillionaire

#saggingskininvariousplacesnottoberevealed

#twentymoretogo

#ihavejustmademyselfalldepressedandpitiful

#shoutoutifhashtagshaveruinedyourlifetoo


On a brighter note, I have discovered a new show on Netflix:  "White Collar".  I'm planning a Memorial Day Weekend Marathon.

#youwillloveit