Friday, May 24, 2013

#pleasecluemein

Could someone please explain to me what the dickens hashtags are?  Because I have no idea.

Ok.  I have a few ideas.

Like, I think they might have something to do with twittering, or twouting, but I'm not really sure what.  I gleaned this information from Jimmy Falon.  But he didn't explain it, he just acted like I am supposed to know what they are.  I have no clue what they are.  Or how they work.  Or their purpose.  Maybe that's the gig...maybe they don't have a purpose.

I wonder if they have something to do with instagram, and again, I'm not really sure what.  I just know that when people have a photo on facebook, then there are a bunch of hashtags that describe the photo.  Like:  #cuteasabutton    for a picture of their baby wearing a headpiece with buttons and feathers exploding on it.  Is a hashtag a way to identify a photo, like giving a jpeg file a name?  But if that were the case, then why are there so MANY hashtags given to the baby photo with buttons/feathers?  #mylil'featherdancer  #daddyslittlecuteasabutton  #grandmathinksimprecious    And why are the hashtags so LONG sometimes?  I have to really study them and I don't mind saying that I find it cumbersome.

Which leads me to the next wonder.  I wonder if hashtags are really just a way to describe whatever you need to describe at the moment.  Like when Mariah Carrey (and if you have read this freaky thing at all you will remember that Mariah Carrey is my MHCE.  Most Hated Celebrity Ever.)speaks in hashtags to describe a performance:   "Hashtag Amazing".  "Hashtag out of this Universe"  Her words not mine.

Which brings me to my next point which makes me feel like a shriveled up little grannie who knits with her glasses perched on her nose (#ithinkthatsmetheirtalkingabout).  I am slipping off the grid.  And its because I don't know what hashtags are.

My 40 year high school reunion is this summer and I'm not sure I can go because of this hashtag thing.

#allivedonesincethelastoneisknitandsew

#muffintop

#havenothadbotox

#notamillionaire

#saggingskininvariousplacesnottoberevealed

#twentymoretogo

#ihavejustmademyselfalldepressedandpitiful

#shoutoutifhashtagshaveruinedyourlifetoo


On a brighter note, I have discovered a new show on Netflix:  "White Collar".  I'm planning a Memorial Day Weekend Marathon.

#youwillloveit

9 comments:

[AnnieR] said...

Ok, so originally, I started doing hash tags to be obnoxious as a joke. But then everyone started doing them seriously and I felt like a jerk, because I was basically making fun of everyone but they had no idea. And then I kind of looked at it like as if it were something I'd say under my breath or as a title or a new breed of paranthesis. But now I just try not to do them at all. I just say what I want to say. Unless I'm specifically speaking to my brother John. Because he still does hash tags to be obnoxious and that speaks to me. For real, though, I'm so sick of them. I don't even try to read them if they're more than like 5 letters long. I so approve of this blog post. Three months ago I would have written that last sentence as a hash tag but nope, I'm just a maverick and I wrote it using a space bar.

JuJu said...

Rock on. I'm with you sister. Especially that part about Mariah Carey. She makes my skin crawl. #heebiejeebies

Mikaela said...

I am also that little old lady knitting wondering what on earth the deal is with hash tags. . . and I haven't even turned thirty yet. I have one on you though, I don't have to turn the TV up to volume fifty. Why? Oh yeah, because I have a hearing aid too. Hope I can be as hip, hilarious and wonderful as you when my forty year reunion rolls around. I think hash tags are just more proof we have no idea how to functionally and eloquently communicate anymore.

MOMMACITA said...

Thank you for your comments, but guys! C'mon! what are they?

MOMMACITA said...

This is not a rhetorical question people!

[AnnieR] said...

It started with twitter, i think. It's a way to categorize what you're talking about so you can click on, say #muffintop and you can see what everyone else has said with "#muffintop" attached to their tweet. You can do the same with Instagram.

MOMMACITA said...

thanks be and praise to you, miss annie

MOMMACITA said...

no hashes

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