Friday, September 11, 2009

All You Ever Need To Know You Can Learn from Project Runway

Yay!!! More TV Blogging!! Double Yay!!!

Last night as I was watching Project Runway on Lifetime's channel for women, and in the midst of my gratitude for it being back, it struck me on how much we as a people can learn from Runway. I had to grab a hankie, because there were tears.

I love the Runway, (how can they sew so fast?????) and there are messages to help us that come from the Runway. This is not as good as reading your scriptures, but almost.


Message #1
Life is better if you have developed some skilz.


Message #2
If things aren't working out for you (on Bravo) then run to the nearest woman ('s network called Lifetime), and she will guide you to the promised land. Your life will be better, there won't be as many potty mouths around, and you'll get to live in Sunny California.
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Message #3
Always look for a friend like Tim Gunn: Someone that will tell you the truth, and if you fail, they'll say just the right thing and give you a hug while your heart is breaking.
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Message #4
Work Work Work. Nobody wins if they don't know how to make it work.
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Message #5
Be nice. Even if mean people make it to the top, remember no one ever wants to share a room with them
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Message #6
Beautiful things can happen in 24 hours. Out of NOTHING!
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Message #7
When all else fails, remember that things always sound classy with a German accent. Even alveedersaine.
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Message #8
If your needle breaks don't be whining about it. Nobody likes a crybaby.
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Message #9
Never do anything in bad taste. You'll get creamed for it every time.
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Message #10
Choose a good (role) model. It all comes down to the (role) model.
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I never knew the runway was so profound. I guess this just goes to show you that

You never know what you've got 'till it's gone. ~Bob Dylan. Or maybe Joni Mitchell.
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Mommmmmmmmmm-acita. Waxing philosophical.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I See Red People

I write a post, I wait, I check to see who comments, I wait a couple of days, I recheck, then I search my life for something ridiculous to write about again and to waste your time again, so that maybe my children or others will comment. This is my purpose. This is my destiny. The hard part is, my life is not that interesting. Oh yes, I do have the occasional guy in a loin cloth speed by on his bike, but for the most part, I'm stretching the envelope. Trying beyond trying to get attention from the 6 people who read this.

Writing a blog makes you examine what you do in your life, what you think, how you perceive the world. I'm not so sure that's healthy for me. Like for instance, I don't like this about myself:

Today I'm at the market. Minding my own bizzness. This couple, maybe in their 40's saunters by me and they are holding hands, wearing this



And this




BOTH of them. Matching outfits. I'm a little dumbfounded and I can't stop looking at them. And these are my thoughts (as in my head, and please pray for me that I will never voice these in real life to real people.):

Question: Where did they get those pants?

Answer: Probably Disneyland

Question: Disneyland? Do they have Mickey Mouses on them? (because that might explain this because if you are going to spend the bucks on red Mickey Mouse pants while visiting Disneyland, (because you get all caught up in the Disney Craze as you are walking around), and you get home and then you are stuck with 2 pairs of red Mickey pants and you have to get your money out of them you might wear them to the market so as not to feel sorry for buying them in the first place)

Instruction: Catch up to them and check out the pants, to see if there are Mickey's on them.

Question: What? Have you lost your marbles? Is this the consequence of living alone? You DO NOT need to know if there are Mickey Mouses on their pants. What would that serve?

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Instruction: Do not go over there by those people and look at their pants. You are becoming weirder by the minute.
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Observation: Red pants, Red Sweatshirts, wowzers, that's a lot of red.

Question: Who wears all that red?

Question: Are those Mickey pants?

Self Correction: ENOUGH. No more wondering about Mickeys on pants. It needs to be over.

Observation: But the red. BUT ALL THE RED.

Question: Should I blog about these red people?

Question: Are you kidding me? Do you really want to continue to be that girl that blogs about people she sees in the store?

Whiny Answer: I can't stop. I'm cursed with the noticing gene.

Question: Have I become this?



Answer: You certainly have if you go home and blog about the Red People.

Rationalization: But look at her. She's happy.

Question: Are you going to go home and blog about the Red People? Because if you do, You are enormously looserey.


Answer: No. No I am Not. I refuse to keep being that person.


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Apparently the receptors for resisting dessert and not blogging about people in the store are located in the same section of the brain and that section in me was damaged during the trauma of 2003. I'm sorry for any pain I may have caused you, the loyal reader.

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Sunday, September 6, 2009

Monkey Business

Yesterday I started a quilt for Ben-erific, using some of these fabrics, in various colors
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And a little of this in various colors
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And some of this in two or three colors, (don't you love their jammies?)
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And I fussy cut some of this
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And I'm thinking that this baby/bigger baby quilt is going to be pretty amazing. I've never worked with a "fabric line" before, because I like to mix it up so's not to bore myself, but I think I like the decisions all being made for me right now.
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But the baby/biggerbaby quilt is not what this blog is about. I just included that info so the biggerbaby's mother could see the fabric.
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This blog is about, big surprise, TV.
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I was trying to watch TV while sewing for the last 2 days. I usually enjoy trying to watch TV.
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I have an announcement to make about TV. Here it is: TV during the Labor Day weekend is THE WORST. THE WORST. THE WORST EVER.
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Now, I made this comment to two different people, (one being someone who I am related to and actually pushed through the birth canal), but they did not agree with me because they spent the weekend watching football games and they are madly in love with Labor Day Weekend TV. Whatever.
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I repeat. Labor Day weekend TV is THE WORST EVER.
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So here's the scenerio. I had just finished watching "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington." which I had previously DVR'd during TCM's Summer Under the Stars series in August (which I dearly miss by the way) And if your are a true American, and a movie lover, then of course you find that movie a little piece of amazing. Amazing Ala Mode in fact. It got a 5 star rating. I had never seen it before. Talk about the thrill of victory. I went from watching a 5 star movie, to having this for my choice:
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Stop Your Anxiety and Depression
Slimming Jeans
Peter Papoff Prayer Line
Internet Millions
Paid Programming
More Paid Programming
Food Lovers Fat Loss System
Hypnosis for Weight Loss
Free Money
Your Baby Can Read
Christy Brinkley's Total Gym
(Really Christy Brinkley? Really? After Being a Supermodel, this is the best you can do? Really? Are you Serious? Really???)
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Celeb Hair
Clean With Shark Steam
Look Younger
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Talk about the agony of defeat.
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After scrolling through the guide every half hour, hoping beyond hope that something magically would appear, I finally decided on TLC's "Truth Be Told" This episode focused on people who take their pets too seriously. One of the vignettes was about a woman who had a little doggie and she bought it expensive costumes (a Dennis Rodman one, (which included a pink wig), a Southern Belle one and Prom Queen costume) and then entered her little doggie (wearing the costumes) into doggie pageants. She took the doggie to New York for a pageant and her doggie didn't win. And then she got super depressed.
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I am not exaggerating.
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Another vignette was about a woman who had a pet monkey named Richard (which happens to be my dad's name so I didn't exactly appreciate her monkey having the same name as my beloved daddy) who she also dressed up and took with her everywhere she went. Well, at least she was TRYING to take Richard the monkey everywhere, but the city council was getting in her way. She hired an attorney to fight for her monkey rights. The case is still pending. At the end it showed her with Richard the Monkey and 2 friends at one of those photo studios where you get all dressed up in Wild Wild West attire and get your picture taken in sepia tones and you don't smile. The monkey, even though she brushed his teeth before they went, did not smile in the wild west picture. So it turned out pretty perfect for all the ladies and Richard the Monkey at the photo place.
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I concluded from this show, that if you are dressing an animal up, you might be pushing the envelope a little.
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And I'm not sure, but I've really thought about it, especially at church today, and I'm guessing that I watched this show because I was sewing on Monkey Fabric.
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Yeah. It's never what you think it is, is it?
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