Oh yeah. This guy was in his regalia in the waiting room.
Anyway, we're not about that today. Today we're talking about Nitrous. My best friend, Nitrous Oxide. I love it and want to marry it for whenever I am at the Dental School. In fact we did get married in a ceremony yesterday afternoon during a crown prep. And here's what our conversation sounded like. Totally in my head, but trust me, the nitrous was talking to me.
Nitrous Oxide: Knock Knock
Mommactia: Who's there?
Nitrous: The deliverer from evil.
Mommacita: Deliverer from evil who?
Nitrous: Deliverer from Evil Kneivel
Mommacita: That's not even the least bit funny. Snifffffffff
Mommacita: Hey wait a minute... I think it is.... Let me check.....Yep! It is So STINTKING FUNNY! You are Hilarious and now I must breathe deep. The gathering gloom. Wait. Doesn't apply.
Nitrous: Are you under yet?
Mommacita: Slobber Bauber Bo Bobber, Banana Fanna Feau Fadder, Me My Moe Mauber, SLOBBER.
Nitrous: Great. Now. You don't even notice your Dentist and his big ol' shot needles right?
Mommacita: Well. I'm noticing. But who cares? Not me me me me me me me. Oh yeah. Not me.
Nitrous Mommacita: Hey Mommacita. Let's try and remember everything you experience so you can use it for blog fodder.
Mommactia: OK . GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRReat Idea. Did I just say Great Idea? Because I meant to say GREAT IDEA
Nitrous Mommacita: (exhale) So what can you remember?
Mommacita: I think my legs have fallen off. But it's OK because I'm never ever leaving this chair ever again. Or my nitrous wytrous.
Mommacita: Hey wait. I think I can hear a conversation that is way over across the room. No. Wait. That's right next door here. But I can only hear every 3rd word. They're loud, they're soft, they're loud they're soft. They are talking about pizza. And teeth. Same diff.
Nitrous Mommacita: Not so sure that's happening Mommacita.
Mommacita: Sunday, Monday Happy Days.....
Nitrous Mommacita: Wha?
Mommacita: Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days.......
Nitrous Mommacita: Oh Boy.
Mommacita: Thursday, Friday, Happy Days! Saturday! What a Day! Rockin' all week with You! (do do doo do)
Mommacita: So I've got a question for you Nitrous Mommacita...
NM: Shoot
Mommacita: So when you have nitrous, are you supposed to pretend that you are lucid? Or can you shut your eyes and fly over mountains? If you shut your eyes, will they think you've gone byby? Because I don't want them to think I've gone by by and shut it off and make me have those grindings and pokings and pullings without my beloved mountains. A girl needs her beloved mountains for a crown prep.
NM: So you're wanting to know if you should fake enjoying the nitrius or not? Um, Wait. WAIT Danger...Will Robinson...Danger!! We're loosing cabin pressure. We're going down...DOWN
Mommacita: Sniff? SNIFF?? SNIFFSsniffSNIFFsnifffSNIFFF???? DR. DubersDIBIBLERS! The tank is empty...Switch the tank....Hello! THE TANK! THE TANK! HELLO! My Beloved TANK!!!!
NM: Good Save Mommacita. Good Save. It's things like this that make us evaluate the good things in life, and concentrate on just enjoying the here and now. How's about we do that for the rest of the crown prep?
Mommacita: You're right. You're so very very right. In fact a little drool right now would complete me. And that little drooley throaty sound that I learned from Homer Simpson? Done.
Mommacita: Man, I just love this stuff.
Nitrous Mommacita: Amen Sista
9 comments:
You never know. The Moody Blues could have been ON nitrous oxide while writing that song. It's very possible.
so glad to know I am not the only one who reacts that way to nitrous! I have also thought of writing down my thoughts as they happen, but couldn't manage the coordination of hand, paper, mouth, let alone dentist and hygienists.
The Moody Blues wrote the happy days theme song?
Wow. No wonder Tim liked them so much.
Oh SHOOT! That was so bloomin' funny. And I loved the Nights in White Satin lyric.
YOU are a hoot.
I hate hate HATE the dentist. The week before a check up I become a nut and have PMS like reactions to everything!
But I love nitrous in an unnatural way. Even better is the amnesia someting or other that I had when they took out my wisdom tooth. I said someting to the nurse about Pino Grigio and the rest is a blank.
Hi Mary...I just had to come out of the blog lurking closet. Your blog is so dang funny. Whenever I am talking to friends back up in Salem about blogs, someone always brings up your blog and how funny it is. You are practically famous as far as I'm concerned. Oh...congrats on those three super cute boys!
Your blog isn't only famous in Salem... We folks over here in Columbus get a chuckle over it too. Nice work.
Now I have the Happy Days theme song stuck in my head. But I've been there! I've seen those mountains!
Wow - SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK. Competes with the massage post which is runner up to the Tim meets Dad Walton post in my book.
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