Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Abstinence and the Slippery Slope

Welcome to the Smokers with B.O. Lounge. I mean the DMV.

Please let the court record show that I waited 24 hours after writing those 1st two sentences. I had to wait because I could feel the mock gene rising up in my throat, and try as I might I couldn't swallow it down. I was afraid that I might get mean towards my fellow human beings at the DMV. My brothers and sisters here on this earth. I abstain from the mockery today. There will be no details about personal encounters, observances, and things witnessed. I will not get personal. But it took me 24 hours and a trip to the temple to get it under control. However, I will say this. You and I are the only two normal people I know and I'm a little worried about you.

There were positive outcomes at the DMV. The girl that waited on me was very nice. And I didn't get a case of scabies or head lice. (small digression, and stop itching your head, I only introduced the thought of head lice, not the reality of head lice. OK, you're right. It's enough to make you itch. all over. ). But back to the matter at hand, (have you noticed I have a tendancy to go off somewhere???) biggest plus of all, I got one of these:

Remember I have das boot? At church I ran into my Dr. and he saw me lugging it around and he told me I could come in and get a parking permit. Now don't you be a worry-ing. When Tim was so ill, the oncologist gave him one of these, and I saw how badly he needed it. It truly saved him precious energy that he needed for other things. I was so very grateful that he wasn't forced to walk long distances to his appointments. And I vowed to myself that I would never ever ever abuse the handicapped parking spot in my life. And I don't plan on starting now. I plan on Abstinence. But I have the golden ticket now. (climbing slippery slope) And I can use it if I need it. (reach the summit of the slippery slope, looking at the view)

Since I have mentioned church twice in this blog, I should come clean. I've already used my parking pass twice. (loose footing on slippery slope) I used it at the temple, but there was LOTS of handicapped parking available. However I took the best spot. (Definitely on the slope with both feet now) Then, after my shift was over I used my parking pass because I had a quick trip to the mall. It was right before closing time and I was the only one in the handicapped parking. (Yep. Gaining speed on the slippery slope.)

My guess is that most of my readers have never had a handicapped parking sticker. Let me educate. THEY ARE AMAZING!!!! When I came out of the mall, my car was RIGHT THERE and I didn't have to lug that clunker strapped to my left foot very far. My foot IS broken after all.

It is obvious that I am morally conflicted here, and carrying around handicapped sticker baggage. I am deserving of the parking sticker, but I know that others are more so. What, oh what, do I do? Readers, (along with Obe-Won-Kinobe,) you are my only hope.

ps. I am weak but I am able.

7 comments:

Annie said...

I say take it day by day, trip by trip. When you need it, use it. When you don't, don't. I hope your foot heals before baby Williams arrives.

My high school boyfriend had a little brother with osteogenesis imperfecta who had to use a wheelchair. During Christmas time when finding ANY parking spot at South Coast Plaza took a miracle, we would take him with us just so we could use the handicapped placard. Don't judge me, I was in high school.

MOMMACITA said...

Good excuse. I wish I had one. But Nooooooooooooo-ooooo.

Jared*Shawna*Skye*Bree said...

Thanks mommacita!! I must take after you;)

Shalyse said...

I love it. and I say USE IT ALL YOU WANT! If you don't, some punk kid will-and he probably doesn't even really have one!

Meredith said...

eating leftover cadbury easter eggs is a sure fire way to alieve ones' self of guilt, especially guilt that should never have been smudging along in the first place.

MOMMACITA said...

cadbury eggs. if only there were some left. I would eat them even if there were no guilt..

Matt said...

Well your doctor did suggest getting it... Why would he do that if he thought you shouldn't use it? To use it is just following the doctor's orders. There, rationalisation complete. You are in the right now.