She's HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE

The Schneebersmommacita is here. And she's cute. But she's flaunting her with child belly in my face. Everywhere I turn, there it is. She thinks that because I am a woman who is no longer in the baby business, she can jiggle that belly about were ever she goes. We go to the Dr. and it's all about her. The Dr. asks her all the questions. The Dr. listens to her heart. The Dr. pats her belly. The Dr. gives her the sickeningly sweet gestational diabetes drink to drink. I was offered nothing. There was a drinking fountain for me. Down the hall by the restroom. The Dr. gives her a notebook to read with birthy info in it. Including pictures and indexes. I was given the People magazine about Ellen getting married.

And here's what I, the woman with no womb, did.

I sat with my mouth closed. I tried not to butt in.

I know, you are thinking: "IMPRESSIVE Mommacita, impressive!" But I'm telling you the truthiness right here and now. When she told the Dr. that the women on the island of Dominica give birth on an open deck outside the hospital, with flies other insects assisting, my mouth flew open, my jaw dropped and I yelled, "WHAT????!!!!" and then they both looked at me with the startle reflex and then I started to shake and then I took her home and ran off to the temple and told every old lady who would listen to me all about the horribleness of the horribleness.

I am somewhat traumatized thinking of what could have been, but talking about it to others has stopped the quivering. And shaking. And evil thoughts.

God Bless the USA. And I mean that with all my heart.