Things That Could of Been but Kind of Are

I know.  I know.

I tried.

I failed.

I'd like to make a codicil to the handshake agreement that I made with my niece Annie.

Truth be told, I should of made it BEFORE I broke said agreement, but I'm trying to right my wrongs here so don't get in my way.

I'd like to add the following stipulation to our agreement: we don't have to blog every stinking week if there is absolutely NO material that anyone would appreciate. (a blog without a response is not a blog that works people)  But we DO have to blog REGULARLY.  We could quite possibly blog even MORE than once a week.  We could blog whenever, but, whenever has to be regular.  Treat blogging as you would treat bathing.   You want to do it regularly, not infrequent, not every minute either.  Remember Dry Skin at the same time you remember smelly hair. Both undesirable.  You aren't allowed to take blogging out of your life.  OR bathing.  I can't believe I needed to tell you that.  So here's the deal:  You can't take blogging out of your life even if you use up your given writing energies on a weekly email for church.  Or something such as that. 

Maybe I'm in a slump or something.

Exhale.

The following is a list of blog ideas that might have been but, were nixed in my own personal correlation meeting.  These subjects were considered, then flushed.  But now, because I'm trying to get back on the wagon, I  painstakingly suck the ideas back from the place that the flushing sends them to.  Virtual Retrieval if you will.

Idea #1.
Just a minute.  I'm drawing a blank here.

Reason:  Not enough Material.

Idea #2. 
  Yes.  A blog about change.  Like how my hair has gone from stick straight to naturally curly in a matter of months.  I'm sure I'm dying of something.   Tim always used to say that in times such as this and look what happened to him.  Anyway, 1980 called and they want their hairstyle back.  This blog would have included perm pictures.  Not of me.  Because I did not rock the mall bangs (girls in malls wore those sticky uppey bangs) with a side of perm.  Don't get me wrong.  I didn't say I never had a perm.  I said I didn't Rock them.  This idea was rejected because all I ever talk about in blogs is how I look and getting old.  Needed something fresh.  Something hap'nin.

Reason:  Too much vanity.

Idea #3.
 I'd get an idea, and then sit down to do it and it would vanish.  Like right now when I'm trying to remember the ideas and I had a good one and off it flew to be with Gracie the Cat in heaven.


Reason:  Too much use of the old lady theme. Or the heaven theme

Idea #4. 
A where are they now expo-say on people I have previously mocked on here.  But who wants to know more about anyone who wears mickey mouse pants to the grocery store or my inability to control my destiny?

Reason:  Too Shallow.


Idea #5
My friend Carol, or Barol, you choose, reminded me that I was behind in my blogging and suggested I go to Walmart.  Hmmm.  Good idea Carol or Barol!  But ha ha the joke is on me, because I went to Walmart about an hour ago and I didn't care enough to look around at what that kid was crying about.  I DID however have some unpleasantness in the parking lot (no spots) and walking into the store (pouring rain and some wind.  I WAS however protected by my Metropolitan Museum of Art Umbrella that gives me great joy every time I use it.  You TOO can have an umbrella such as this if you go to their website)

Reason #!  Too Whiny about rain. Which is just too easy.
Reason #2  Too Overdone.

Idea #6.
 An Addendum to the Mommacita Favorite Thing Series that includes my yummy yummy umbrella.  Its the black on black if you must try and be like me.  Which you totally can, I'm not like that at all.

Reason:  Too Narcissistic

Idea #7
An unfortunate gastro-intestinal experience, which by the way will NEVER be spoken of on this or any publication.

Reasons #1,2,3,4,5 Respectively
 Too Much Information
Too Gross
Too unreal
Too pitiful
Too much laughing at me personally

Idea #8.
An experience that happened with a grandchild that immediately following the experience I was forbidden (in no uncertain terms) to use for blog fodder.  My initial reaction was Gee,some people have no sense of humor.  But then Idea #7 happened to me and a piece of my sense of humor was carved off of my SOUL by the person in the universe who does that sort of thing and I've never been the same since.  But I get it now.

There are limits people.

Even if you laugh so hard you want to have your sides surgically removed and you plainly don't care if they take part of your sense of humor as well.

So Yeah.

Reason:  Too Exposing to the entire universe.


I look at this list collectively.

I gather in the data.

I am not sure of the purpose of this thing anymore.
Who am I?
Where do I come from?
Where am I going?

Yes.
You are correct sir.
This is definitely a slump.