grinchie mcGrinchster

If your're looking for a lovely little feelgood blog this Christmas eve, keep browsing sista friend.  (Not to offend, but do men read this thing?)

Here are the following experiences that must be read and flushed away because I am really diabolically opposed to sending a negative vibe into the universe.  Could I tell you all about the wonderful heart warming things that have happened this month?  Why yes.  Yes I could.  But you would be bored.  Tim's first rule of happiness was never be bored.  Which is why I spelled it with and 'i' like Will Smith.  Or did he use a Y?  I don't know.  See?  Not boring.

Grinchness # 1.

I flew to St. Louis for the Duber Graduation from St. Louis Orthodontic School.  It was both exciting and fun.  (but not delicious.  Larssa called the chicken a salt lick.  I agreed.  McGrinch.)  I was taking great care to look my best on my son's big night.  I know I promised to never mention them again, but when I brought out one of my favorite things to draw the hair above my eyes, I panicked to find that my hair drawing tool was EMPTY.  McGrinch.  I was going to embarrass my son in front of all his little friends because I would have no hair above my eyes. (still keeping good on that promise to never mention the word _ _ _ -_ _ _ _ again. )  I was saved by a knock off by Maybelline purchased at Walgreens but all evening I suffered from _ _ _-_ _ _ _ insecurity.  Which is the deepest form of not being secure with oneself.  McGrinch.

Grinchness #2

I traveled to Denver with the Graduates.  My grandson was on an ANTI grandma kick probably because he was all souped up about the move.  It might have been the Walgreen _ _ _-_ _ _ _s.  McGrinch.

Grinchness #3

I stayed with Timotee's sister in Denver, and she and her husband were SO NICE (there was an open kitchen there, and for a Mormon, that is akin to an open bar) As I was driving off to go to the airport to fly out we get a phone call.  I had left my cosmetic bag in the bathroom.  Guess what might have been in it?  Yes.  _ _ _-_ _ _ _ drawing tools amongst other necessities such as deodorant and dental hygiene supplies.  McGrinch.  I got to ride to the airport in a Mini Cooper.  NotMcGrinch.  Very zippy.

Grinchness #4

This one is the worst of all, and the impetus for this post.  All the other things I'm obviously stretching.  Anyway, at the Denver Airport, the security line was Huge.  I've never seen one so long.  McGrinch.  But thanks to minicooper driver, who suggested I go earlier, I had plenty of time.  I walk to my spot in line and right behing me is cell phone guy.  Lets call him CPG from now on.  So CPG is talking on his phone.  Nice and loud
     "Yeah.  I've had a hard time getting home.  Spent a night in Topeka then here.  Yeah. Yeah Yeah, Laugh.   Here's my tip for the day... "Never fly at Christmas Time."  Yeah.  Thats my big tip for the day.  Yeah." etc.

He then hung up and called another person.  Conversation was identical.  THen another person.  Then another.  Same convo.  This went on for infinity.

The loud speaker came on and asked everyone to join the Denver airport in a moment of silence to honor all of the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School.  The entire airport whirrs to a complete stop.  No talking, no Christmas music, no kids yelling , no shoes or luggage clicking on the tile...just silence.  Except for you guessed it.  1,000's of tired travelers, little kids, babies, employees, foreigners, ... everybody.  Everybody on the planet except for Cell Phone Guy was showing respect with their silence.

All I could hear was "Yeah.  Here's My Tip for The Day...Never fly at Christmas" And THE LAUGH.  as if,

McGrinch

I was annoyed beyond belief. 

More McGrinch.

So to You, Cell Phone Guy, Employee of FedTex4, with your little FedTex4 jacket on and yes I made a point of looking so I could put it in here.... to you...nice work.  I'll always treasure your tip of the day and it will forever be an anthem of Grinchiee McGrinsterhood forever and ever more.

Now Gimme some eggnog I need some cheer.