Anyway, Precious Perfect, or Little Man, or Henri (when I'm feeling french) or YummyBaby is a delicious specimen. And do you want to hear a story? You do? About my grandchild? You do? Because you're interested? Because you love stories about other people's YummyBabies? Wow. You're kind. I might not be as kind as you are.
So here's a story,. It's called,
"YummyBaby Communicates to the Grandma's, but Not Until He Exerts a Lot of Patience, Effort, and Good Ol' Elbow Grease Do They Finally Get It."
The following is not a musical. But it is good enough to be on the Lifetime Network. And it's about women and women's stuff so it has a chance. However, the two men in this story are nice so that might work against it being considered. On with the reinactment.
Nurse: Schneebermoms, because you have just given birth to the YummiestBaby of all of 2008, you and your rear end win a free trip to the jacuzzi room down the hall. You might want to go on a date with your husband while you have two such loving Grandmothers to watch your YummyBaby.
So off they go, walking hand in hand, one walking more gingerly than the other, one walking slower than he is used to. Wish I had a photo to insert here. But not one taken from behind because a behind shot of a daughter in a hospital gown after birth is not what the Internet is for. Even if you're really really tempted.
Yummy Baby: Snort, SNORT
In Town Grandma: Let me jiggle you YummyBaby. You'll like that.
YummyBaby: Snortcryyowl, SNORTCRYYOWL!!
In Town Grandma: (Whispering) Don't make me look like a rookie in front of the Out of Town Grandma YummyBaby.
YummyBaby: Out and out crying. Lip quivering crying. HystericalBaby in a movie crying.
In Town Grandma: Maybe he needs to be changed. (Sets YummyBaby down on his mother's bed.) Proceeds to look for what is none of her business.
Yummy Baby: Mmmm-mmm, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-zzzzzzzzz
In Town Grandma to Out of Town Grandma: Wha? Why did he stop? Do you think he smelled his mother in her bed? Do you think the smell of his mother comforts him?
Out of Town Grandma: Maybe.
In Town Grandma: Out of Town Grandma, do you want to have a turn?
Out of Town Grandma: YES!
Out of Town Grandma gently picks him up, all warm and swaddled.
YummyBaby: er er er......... YOWWWWWWWWWL. CRRRRRRRRY. WAAAAAAAAAAA
Out of Town Grandma starts jiggleing, rocking, singing, cooing.
YummyBaby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Breath
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Breath
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Schneebermomma and her date walk (a little less gingerly, a little more spry, thanks to the free jacuzzi) through the door.
Schneerbermom standing in doorway: Hi Guys.
YummyBaby: SnivelSnivelSniffSniff
YummyBaby: exhale
YummyBaby:
YummyBaby: coo.
Is not my Henry an impressive little dude?
7 comments:
Congrats! We need pictures of this little Henry Perfect!
Hal is the best and even at three days old he know what he likes. First his mommy, second his mommies aroma (her au natural scent), and third his dad. In a day or two he will add his grandMommacita to the list. Congrats, he's perfect.
Congrats Perfect Grandma!!!
Oh, mamacita, you crack me up. You have totally got to post some pictures of that yummybaby, so we can all go "ooohhhh...." at home and enjoy a little bit of your happiness remotely!
Happy day!!! He is a darling one! I'm thinking that he looks like quite the blend of Garlocks and Williams as seen on Leigh's blog. We'd like some of you holding him - no better yet, bathing/changing/feeding/burping/
patting/rocking/jiggling etc so it shows how useful a Mommacita you are.
And I see you've butched up your blog in his honor - the browns, the more masculine sparkly outfit. I think Hal - sounds like that's what we're calling him? will really appreciate it.
Haven't heard mention of a middle name.
Hope you and the parents (though Matt must be gone by now) are getting some sleep.
Really - your fans want pictures of you bonding.
He really is a precious perfect...just like his in town Grandma (no offense to out of town Grandma as we've never met).
Congrats Grandma mary once again, but to a baby boy! He sounds like he does smell divine. Yummers!
Congrats to all! Give him a hug for me ... there is NOTHING in the world like a newborn baby - ohhhhh that first 2 weeks goes so fast, and they are just the absolute BEST!
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