Dear Mommacita Feet,
I thought it being the Sabbath day and all, that I would take this time to use my talents and show appreciation for all the wonderful things you are and have been to me through the years. You'll never know how much I love you. So, this being your lucky day: I wish to sing for you. Not that I am particularly talented in singing, although I wish that I was and in my next life I will definitely go to the effort to stand in the 'sings really really great' line so that, in my next life, my appreciation singing to you will be even better and you will know even more of my gratitude.
First I'm going to sing a little number from Donna Summer entitled "She Works Hard for the Money".
Donna Summer, working really really hard in a soda shoppe. I love to spell shoppe with 2 p's and an e.
Feet, you DO work hard for the money, and I'd better treat you right.
ta da. ta da. pause ta da. ta da.
Then for my next number, I'd like to do a little something from Barry White.
I'm thinking His Lady Gloria Formally Tibbitts is digging and groovin on Barry's purpleness.
I don't know what this particular Barry song is called. But it is a sexy little number that has the words "You'll Never Know...." in it. And then it goes on to tell everybody about the tender love I have for you. It's true feet, it's true. Tenderest of love I feel for you, and you just don't know it. But now you do because of my singing about it right out loud for every one to hear, including Barry White who is in heaven listening to Tim.
Then next on the repertoire would be the Bangles, "Walk Like and Egyptian".
Girl on far left has solution to cankles.
This song mentions the word walk in it, which is something you do for me, and it also has a line that says: 'Life is hard you know (oh whey oh) So strike a pose on a Cadillac.' I sure have fun striking poses on Cadillacs when life is hard with you feet. At least I will now.
After the Bangles, we move on to James Blunt, "Beautiful".
Now, I know this can get a little redundant, but feet, "You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true." Although the purple toenail pedi that was done for the wedding is way past it's prime. Maybe we could do something about that this week.
And since I am seeing commercials for 'Momma Mia' 24/7 on TV, then I would have to include a little "Dancing Queen" by Abba.
His and her minty freshness. All in one zingy piece.
"You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life See that girl, watch that scene, dig the Dancing Queen" I know, I know, I'm not really ready for the dancing mode as of yet, what with the boot and all, but feet, because of you, I can dream about jiving and having the time of my life. And what girl doesn't want to be dug because she's the Dancing Queen? All because of you feet. All because of you I might be dug.
To end my tribute to you, my fabulouso feet, I'm going to conclude with a little Gary Wright.
He sang a tasty little number called "Dream Weaver" in the late 70's. And I'm including this song, because during the Glitch wedding
tgar and
yomama helped save you, my precious feet, and now I have one boot removed because of them. So
tgar and
yomama, and your special friends Tom and Caren, this is for you. Because I know it's your specialist of most specially songs. YOUR SONG. Dedicated to just you two cute kids.....In a dream
weaverly kind of way. And feet, it's also for you because there are other people in the world who love you and look out for you just as much as I do, and because feet, your dreams can be woven just like anybody
else's...maybe you dream of pink polish instead of purple, I don't know, but I do know that your dreams can weave:
"I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind"
(If you're not waving your arms in the air and swaying back and forth like you're super chemically altered after reading 'Dreamweaver', then I don't know what to tell you.)
And now I close this letter to you my beloved feet and I hope that you feel super important. Which is just what I wanted to do with my Sabbath day.
All my Love, Kissies, Hearts, Kitties, and Unicorns,
Mommacita
12 comments:
Dear Mommacita,
I have a huge favor to ask as a long time reader, and only few time commenter. I need your help composing the best blog of my life. You have inspired me to write about attending the Mormon Tabernacle Choir/Osmond Family Reunion concert. I need to know what I can do to make it the awesomest blog ever. Pulitzer prize winning if you will. Let me know. A thousand thank yous in advance.
oooooooh my goodness sister garlock. I just read your entire blog starting last night and finishing today. You just may be the funniest person in the entire world. You have no idea how much I enjoyed hearing about your booties, love for TV (I LOVE GILMORE GIRLS!), and hydrocortizone cream. The world is better because of this freaking blog. Thank you and goodnight!
Katelyn Wettlaufer
Dear Andrew,
I'm not sure you want my help on an Osmond concert. And now I feel compelled to review it.
I actually dvr'd that concert, and watched it yesterday. I can be kind of mean. If I don't check myself.
The Mo Tab part was excellent. I love them, they are my favorite group. Could listen to them all day. Artists. real ones.
My husband used to tease me and say I loved the Osmonds. I don't. He was just trying to get me close to him and hitting him was just as good as any other way. I do appreciate the sense of family the Osmond clan has given the world, and when they were given that standing ovation I truly thought they deserved it. But.......
1. They are always trying to copy someone. Kenny Rogers is an Osmond now. Did you see him? He had several solos. Love that scratchy voice.
2. Cheese factor. The McCheesiest
3, Donny has a beautiful voice, and He just needs to sing and should never be allowed to talk or direct the choir. I got a little red in my face during that part.
4. It was a bit Vegasy for my taste. Especially in the conference center. I was hoping that they were going to sing church songs, and harmonize them and make me feel all tingley but no. We got Puppy Love and Paper Roses.
5. I loved the pictures of their family. They were darling. Especially I liked a home movie where the dad was playing with his tiney little sons and they were having the best time giggling and laughing. Loved that.
6. Loved listening to their harmonizing. Nobody does it better, and they should stick to that. Quit trying to be hip guys. We could love you as you are. Leave Kenny Rogers alone.
Review over.
When you write your Pulitzer prize winning blog, just say what's in your head as it would come out of your mouth.
PS. #7. Was that an animal Marie was wearing?
Katelyn,
You are darling and one of my favorite people, and I love you
Sister G,
I can't hide it anymore. I am coming out from my hiding spot to let you know... I am your biggest fan. If there was a fan club I would be president and if there was Mommacita merchandise I would own every t-shirt and boot poster. You see I am coming out to be an advocate for other loyal followers that have not made yourselves known... You know who you are. (mother, you are one of them) Your blog has a special icon on my iPhone that allows me to access it with one click... So though I live away from Salem I felt like I was apart of the Glitch function and I too love your feet. For that I thank you.
Your-fiercly -loyal-former-mia maid-turned-biggest-fan-ever,
Autumn P.
Oh Autumn, I love you as well! You are Autumn Awesome. Kind of Superhero ish.
Mary,
Yes I love your blog!!! I read it every day and if there isn't a new post a read the old one AGAIN and laugh and laugh like I've never read it before. I tell everyone about it. I have Mary Garlock Blog pass along cards, I give out. I ask them to commit to reading it, and let them know it will make there life happier. It has mine. See ya tomorrow.
tam
Tammy, I never got that fashion advise email. You know I certainly would have blogged the heck out of it if I had. I want it.
Oh, and I love all who comment. With fierceness.
hey mom, guess what?! Matt's schooling might take him to the bahamas for his forth semester. What?! And your coming to visit. Yes! Lets skype more about this soon.
Well, how does one read such a personal and loving tribute and not comment? Albeit a week late, but I'm sure Mommacita will accept the grandchildren excuse, although they have not eaten my homework.
SO happy that you are down to one boot! Hope you shouted "Uno!" You give tgar and myself far too much credit - I'm thinking we had nothing to do with the shedding of one boot.
But thank you for the DW send up - it's such a saaaaappy song - almost as sweet as an Italian soda, which we're having nightly now, at least until the 1/2 gallon of 1/2 and 1/2 runs out (I like to keep things consistent - like if I ever were going to buy myself a tutu, I'd have to buy two of them, that sort of thing...but oh, yeah this is not my freaking blog).
I know you were giggling to yourself mid contortion between lifting us up on a pedestal and bootscootin' us under the bus, assuming others would think less of us because of that song.
If we can in some small way contribute to you giggling, then any sacrafice to our self esteem, makes up for the fact that we can't be there to help out more and keep you in constant giggles. And might I add: Sheep, sheep.
I was merely trying to lure you out of the darkness drew and tiffany.
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