Since we now share a house, I have a few ensy bensy items of business. You know..... Communication. It's what makes the world go 'round. I've heard you say that before and you know I have. Don't act all surprised.
So. First of all, what's the deal with you not blogging very much since I've been here? You have a couple of fans er uh family that likes to check in with you. You have been very much the L word. (Not that L word, this L word: LAZY.) Every one of your peeps likes to keep up on how you have yet again embarrassed yourself Momm Cit. Is my constantly growing belly so entirely amusing/beautiful/fascinating/incredible that you can't talk (to it) and blog at the same time? Multi Task Mommcita. Every President must be able to multi task.
Second of all, let's talk about the remote control. I LIKE TO HAVE IT. You are really bad with it Mommacita. You are slow at fast forwarding through commercials, plus I am used to having it because my husband is nice like that. So I need it from now on. Kapeesh?
Which brings us to our third item: Dancing With the Stars. OH! MY! GOSH! MOMMACITA! You totally know what you've done. I cannot STAND that show and I know you don't like it either, so please quit pausing on it when you are scrolling through the guide. I know (geeze, who doesn't?) that you saw Susan Lucci in person one time because somehow (who knows how) you found yourself with Grandma Margaret at the Regis and Kathie Lee Show in New York,
and I know that her skin was flawlessly beautiful that day and I know she is a size 0, and I know you only wanted to see her costume but we both just can't afford any more pausing on that show. Think of the unborn.
Item four: Thank you very much for giving me your Lancome gifts with purchase and cute little cosmetic bags in varying colors. You're the Mommacitabombacita. And now I can look absolutely fetching when I skype with my man. I mean hot. Hot's the word we 20 somethings use now a days. So change fetching to hot.
Item five: Let's discuss the talking to my belly issue. I know you can't help yourself. I'm pretty excited about the little man myself. But a navel (mine) is not a microphone. No matter how many times you tell me it is, (I repeat), a navel is not a microphone into the womb. If you should happen to say around the vicinity of my belly: "Hello Little No-Name Man, this is your loving GranMocita", Little No-Name man can hear you just as well as he could if you happened to be using your so called microphone. So now that I've cleared that up, we're on the same page: you don't need a navel. My navel. In fact you could maybe do your belly talking from across the room. In fact, lets just say for the record, that the next time you sing "I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home" it would probably be just fine and dandy to sing that from across the room. NoName will get it. I feel his chi and he is smart.
Thank you for taking the time to read this note. Family Bizness was always my favorite part of FHE. Remember how us kids used to slide off of our chairs, roll around on the floor clutching our guts going out of our gourds with boredom during it? Remember those good times? So great to be back!
No, seriously, I love staying with you, because you are my beautiful, outstanding, and adoring Mother. And you're hot.
Love, Schneeblers
PS I miss MattMan
6 comments:
this still has me laughing....you two are hilarious!
I've been wondering where Mommacita had gone. I did enjoy the guest blogger, though.
So cousin-o-mine, let's say you hop off your Mom's blog and update yours, HM? With a bare belly pregnant picture, of course.
Oh my! Your daughter can write too! I too have missed your more frequent blog entries. Come back! Come back!
Nope, I didn't write this blog. The mommacita took some more 'artistic liberties' and wrote things she thought I might be thinking. And since I am mooching off her like a leech for the next couple months, she pretty much can do whatever she wants. I love staying with her. And I DO think she is hot.
Mommachita I think you are very intune with the pregnant-one. Keep up the good work and of coarse the blogging. Too funny!
mary, i don't have your email so i have to tell you really quick that i came across this random blog (you know, the whole blog-linking thing can go on and on) and this girl who writes had a pic of herself in a BOOT! it made me laugh out loud because it reminded me of you, although being in a boot is not funny the stories that you tell of things that happen while in said boot are VERY funny. anyhow, i just wanted to pass it on...
http://bbandcb.wordpress.com/2008/07/31/a-week-of-firsts/
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