Anyway, I'm at this cooking contest with my family. We are guest judges. Because we are experienced eaters. And on the last night of the contest the judges can order from a menu that the contestants created and then the contestants have to deliver what you chose from the menu to your house. (the word house is a foreshadowing people)
So being the pigs that we are, we order every single thing from every single contestant. It was expensive (we had to pay...which stunk because we were guest judges and why should a guest judge have to pay?) and I felt the guilt of over purchasing. So they start delivering food. The last contestant chef that delivered comes walking in with pretzel rods dipped in chocolate and rainbow sprinkles (I dream in color). I think to myself: Pretzel rods dipped in chocolate with rainbow sprinkles? Wha the? Those aren't even as good as the ones we had for the Glitch affair. You call yourself a Top Chef?
Then someone (I think it was Jake) yells out: Anyone got any hot sauce?
And since I hadn't started to eat yet and since I am a giver I decided to venture outside to find some hot sauce. I give and give and give for you I say as I'm walking out the door.
While wandering around in the parking lot of the condo that we stayed in at our recent reunion, I bump into Dr. Gregory House from the TV show House. And he is one of the competing chefs and he is on his way to delivering a life size TV made entirely out of chocolate.
I start with the begging. "Can I have a bite of that? Pleeeeeeeeze? Oh it looks so very deliciouseoso and we mistakenly ordered those bogus pretzel rods so please please please let me have a bite of that TV??"Dr, House: *#$@ No! Absolutely not! (he actually said astrick, pound sign, dollar sign, and at sign in the dream.)
Me: PLEASE! I'll kiss you if you let me have a bite.
Dr. House: (eyebrow raises.)
We all know Dr. House is a pig and would trade a kiss with anyone for anything.
I see an open window for chocolate and I follow him into a dark bar where he is supposed to deliver the chocolate TV and I know I have to work fast.
"It's dark in here and no one will notice if a bite is missing" I coo.
I take a bite out of the TV (on the bottom corner where no one will see) and then I lay one on him.... a big wet slatherey kiss (I'm nothing if not honorable in my sleasyness).
And then I wake up laughing. And as I start to recall the dream (I just kissed Dr. House in order to get a bite of a chocolate TV???) I laugh out loud even harder which is not the norm for me when I just wake up. It's probably not for you either come to think of it.
Things always seem so much funnier when I find myself laughing out loud all by myself and then I become silly. So between the dream and my laughing alone I proceed to laugh for a good 5 minutes. Gaw Faw style.
I'm a widow who will kiss any old crusty needs-a-shave meanie for a shot at a chocolate TV. And then laughs about it. alone. for a long time.
Analyze THAT would ya.
5 comments:
In my dreams, I would kiss House for chocolate. In my dreams, I would kiss House. Period. Because I kiss people from TV in my dreams, and because I love him. He makes me giggle. And I'm not a giggler. In my dreams, I'm jealous that you kissed House in your dreams.
P.S. I love picturing you gafawing in the middle of the night.
I loved your dream. Sorry for almost running over you today in my car. I promise I'm a good driver. If you didn't recognize me, it's because my face is extremely swollen from getting my wisdom teeth out. In my defense...my wisdom teeth just came out and I'm a little stupid still.
First, I'm sending Robert to your house. You, Schneebs and Robert can all sit on the big blue leather couches and watch the House marathon on the USA network. Second, Robert can analyze your crazy dreams because he graduated in psychology and tell you what is really going on. Third, I can actually watch some shows that I like because Rob will be watching House at your house verses mine. Oh how I miss my House Hunters show.
I love House! Dream on Auntie Mary, dream on!
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