The much anticipated MOGA's

It's true. They're over. And even though I'm ready to move on, I cannot. I cannot do it until we have the first annual Mommacita Olympic Goodstuff Awards. Then I'm done. It's like a wedding for a son. It's not over until the open house is done. And I'm so very done. There will be no more blogs about it. I'm firm on this. I know you're sad (or secretly doing a toe touch which is a difficult cheerleader maneuver. Shawn Johnson did some on floor exercise just so you know).

Let me tell you how these awards work. First, we all get dressed up in sparkly clothes. Then we put on too much makeup. Preferably with sparkles in it. Then we use too much hairspray. Then we put on really spiky heels. For you fellas out there, (Paul) this might be awkward. And misunderstood. You don't need to don a dress or heels. But I must insist on a sparkly costume. I'll explain everything to future employers. After we all look fabulous, then we all gather together in cyberspace and clap after each award. Because of the MOGA'S low budget nature, you will need to bring your own refreshments.

Our First MOGA Award is:


MOST AESTHETICALLY PLEASING and the winner is the Russian Rhythmic Gymnast Eugena Kavaeva. I learned the words aesthetically pleasing in college and I love to use them. Thus.






This gold medal routine was breath taking. I'm not usually a fan of this sport, because it seems so ridiculous to throw hoops around and lay on balls and such, but really truly, I grew to appreciate it as I watched this gal. She's my girlfriend and worth donning a sparkly dress for. And I decided that these girls had more normal bodies than the regular stunted gymnast body. And their voices did not sound like mice. That's always a plus.

Next Award: HEALTHIEST LOOKING BODIES

Yes. I notice those things. Primarily because you are forced over and over to look at people hopping around in leotards and speedos and skimpy little running under pants so why not give an award to the athletes that don't look like they haven't had a meal in years? Pretty sure I could have worded that better.

It seemed to me that DIVERS could start out looking like this:

But pretty soon end up thrilling the world with this:

I'm not blind you know.



So HEALTHIEST LOOKING BODIES goes to DIVERS. Both men AND women. The world of sports needs good healthy role models. Big ol' thank you for that.

Next we have MOST CREATIVE ARCHITECTURE:




How could it not be the Water Cube? Such Fun!!


Next we have: MOST LIKE BARBIE'S LEGS



There are little girls all over America taking their Barbies with them to the bath tub and playing synchronized swimming. That's exactly what I would have done. Which probably explains alot right about now.



Next: MOST ROBBED

Hold your over 16 year old heads high girls. The MOGA supports those who play fair.



Next: ALWAYS GUARANTEES ME A LAUGH.


Oh, you already know how MOGA feels about this lil' rascal. He was a shoe in.


Next: BEST REACTION TO A WIN:




If Michael were needing to give blood right this minute, it would be a really good time for the phlebotomist. The stick is RIGHT there.


Next: I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE award.

And I'm talking mainly about the glutes.

And finally, this may seem heresy, especially to certain people in my family who went to bed every night starring at a poster of this, and dreaming that someday sometime the same thing may happen to them, but move over Michael. There's a new boy in town

MOGA'S award for BEST WINGSPAN

I regret to inform you that I think he has you beat M.J. And that is why he is my boyfriend even though he reportedly made out with an Austrailian Gold Medal Swimmer behind the bird's nest.