Reunionesque - A Life Lesson

Dear Tim's Family,

In an attempt to bring to you pictures of our regional reunion, let's get the dirty laundry right out on the table. This website has been giving me fits today, and I've had trouble getting the pictures onto it. Since most of the pictures are pictures of crap and not people, that has doubled my frustration. I am in a terrible mood. I feel like ripping your head off right now and you didn't even do anything. I have already ripped my own head off and it is sitting over there in the entryway making a mess and mocking me. In an attempt to get into a zen place, let's start with a sunset, albeit a sunset on a cloudy day. I was going to end with this, but people, you're just going to have to work with me here.





Breathe In.

Breathe Out.

And Begin...

A week ago, we met on Rachael and Matt's house boat, or as I like to call it, the cutest little love shack ever. We left it littered with corn cobs on the back deck and glitter and s'more juice all over the kitchen table. We're sensitive that way.





We missed our family that had partied with out us in Ohio, partied without us in Arizona, and partied without us in So Cal. We missed you, but we had fun without you. We spent the day doing reunionesque things. Things like pairing up with a pixie and making boats for a boat race:








Eating more, and more and more with Grandma Loveit,






Fishing off the side of the houseboat before it was littered with corncobs:





Appreciating wildlife on the front porch

And my personal favorite, losing our personal identity by dressing alike

Since it was a cloudy day, and too cool to squeeze ourselves into swimsuits and have our pictures taken so we could be entombed in a swimsuit forever and ever on the internet, we thought up other stuff to do. We paired up randomly, in teams of two people, and we created 1 boat per team...because the first ever G-lock Regalia was to be held right before dinner. My, my, but don't the claws come out when a G-lock is competing. The teams had to build a boat out of supplies they could find, give it a name, and sail it in the G-lock Regalia.

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The first team consisted of Madison and Mommacita. They built a boat of Popsicle sticks and called it the "M & M". Because of the M's in their names. Get it? And they felt totally hip making gangsta "M" signs in their picture, although you can tell right away I'm over 50 because my gangsta M looks more like a claw.

And the blue and yellow theme of the "M & M"s? Forget about it! Others were jealous.

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The next team was Morgan and Matt. Now I'm not a sore looser or anything, but Matt dragged Morgan off into his workshop and pretty soon you could hear sanders and saws and things were flying. I'm not offended or anything, but I don't think they used the gluegun I brought because I saw nails in their boat. And that sail you see? Real sailcloth. And are you wondering if that's a candle there in front of the sail that is meant to be a source of renewable energy for their boat "Light of the River"? You wonder right. OK. I'm just going to say it. Rachael, your husband is a competitor. Opps. Should have spelled that COMPETITOR.

Next we have the paring of Richard Carlos, who we will call Carlos from now on, and Lisa/Sawyer. Sawyer was clearly the brains behind the operation that produced the "Las Vegas Queen". I kept hearing the two of them say to each other something about not having any right brains. Sawyer, your superpowers saved the day. Look at that thing.

The next group was David and Abby. They read their scriptures together before they started and were inspired by the flight of the Jaredites in the Book of Mormon who built ships that were "tight like unto a dish". They hogged all the straws and sealed them in a base of tinfoil that was sealed up as tight as you can imagine. I saw the man who made me a gold tooth over there fussing over those straws and foil and I thought no fair. Abby brought her aesthetic sense to the operation, and between the two of them the aura of light was staggering.

The next pairing was Ruth and LaRene, whose creation "LaRve" was as happy and cheery as these two themselves. I Larve them.

Next, Amanda and Rachael decided to funkify with "G-lock Starry Night". It was a mind trip. One of those pictures within a picture within a picture situations. It had wind and fog and waves and real growing things. And it was made of paper plates. And they wore black glasses and sequins, while they did it. And they ran off to a corner of the houseboat where no one could see the masterpiece until it was done. Just look how happy they are.

Every family has a little dysfunction. Nathan and Margaret. Their plan was to put cotton balls in tin foil and light them on fire thus hoping that all the other boats would burn up. Why do I think that it never sunk into either one of them what was going on? I did like their name though: "Grathan". Like Branjolina only they chew Trident Fruit Flavor.

Lastly we have the "Fairy Flower" built by Pat and Debbie. They hogged all the Styrofoam. And silk flowers. And fun foam. And feathers and sequins and glue and jingle bells and ribbon and whatever else I threw into the bag to try and get rid of at the reunion. Thank you Pat. Thank you Debbie. "Fairy Flower" gave me an extra shelf in my hall closet.

So I bet you're dying to know how the race turned out. I know I would be if I were you. Awards were given. Tears were shed. OK. No tears were shed. But this is how it turned out

"Fairy Flower" by Pat and Deb won "Most Crap on it" or in other words "Prettiest".

"Grathan" by Grandma and Nathan won "Most Thrown Together" or "Best Teamwork" which was really a social commentary designed to encourage companies to never pair the elderly with the teenager mind.

Inside view of "Grathan". They never lighted it on fire and I for one was disappointed to my very core.

Rachael and Amanda's "G-lock Starry Night" won Most Creative. Like any great work of art, a photo does not do justice. Personally, I think they should have given a best use of tulle award. They would have been a shoe in for that.

"Larve" by Ruth and LaRene won "Most Columbia Worthy". Because of their use of waves. And things rising up out of the waves. BTW, LaRene's name is on the other side of the vessel. Just in case you thought Ruth was on a power trip.

Rick and Lisa's "Las Vegas Queen" won "Best Use of Neon Lights with out Really Having any Neon Lights". Coveted award. And that glob of gold sequins stuck right in the middle? Pretty sure that's Carlo's work and not Sawyers.

Morgan and Matt's intellectual "Light of the River" won "Most Inspiring use of Materials and Inspiring Craftsmanship and Inspiring End Result and Let's Face it We are Inspired" Award. I was watching Pat and LaRene's faces when they won this, and let me tell you, I've never seen parents more proud than at that moment. Smiles as big as the sky. FYI, when they first put it in the river, it flipped and sank and the contractor ran and put the pink floaties on the ends and it happily sailed away.

The "M & M" won best name. Woo Hoo.

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The tight like unto a dish vessel "G-lock's Ark" won 1st Place, Most G-Lockie, and Most Spiritual. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there. When heaven is on your side, you cannot fail. As soon as the Ark hit the water, it was as if a heavenly motorboat was propelling it out to sea:

It was the little ship that could. It went like the wind:

Further and faster it went, leaving the other sad little boats sitting in their puddles of sad sorryness. The crowd was going wild. whistling! yelling! stomping! That an actual G-lock was able to engineer a boat that actually floated was astounding! unbelievable! inconceivable! And you know who was up on the top deck snapping photos of every victorious moment.

When you finally take that cruise to the Eastern Carribean, and as you're standing there on the Leado Deck, with Captain Stubing and Gopher, and you see a little red and green boat that looks like it might be made out of fun foam out there on the horizon, that exact moment would be a good time to take a little personal inventory to see Who's on the Lord's Side Who. Because, my friends, we all want to be the little ark that could.

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And now, I bring to you in all humility, the fate of the "M&M"

I know the scriptures are true.


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PS This post is too long. Mitch will complain.

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