Elevator Stories

Yesterday, while in the back of an elevator, I was minding my own beeswax. The elevator stops, and a group of people get on, filling up the elevator. The person that stood in front of me was about 5 inches shorter than I, and so as the door was closing, I realized that I had a birds eye view of her head.

First of all, when I'm on an elevator, my opinion is that people have to stand a little too close to one another for my taste. Too much heat, too many accidental touchings by strangers, too many close up views of some body's mole or wart or whatever that thing is that is growing out the side of their neck. And I don't want to smell anyone's Jovan Musk even for a minute and a half.

I can't believe they still make that stuff.

Anyway, back to my elevator story, I'm standing there, looking at this lady's head. Then, because I have nothing to do because I'm on an elevator, and when on an elevator, certain people (me) try to avoid eye contact, I try and find somewhere for my eyes to go, so I start to examine her hair. And here is a very detailed description of her hairstyle: gray, short, poodle perm.

So my mind starts to wander concerning the poodle perm. I know that no one on this earth goes through life with only the poodle perm as their hairstyle, so I start wondering in what scenario a woman eventually goes into her hairdresser, sits down in the chair, and says, "Cindy, let's go with the poodle perm style today, and not only today but for the rest of my life."

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I really want to know... Do you evolve to that point? Do you poodle perm only the top for a while and then you just give up and say "ah heck , let's fry up my whole head with teensy eensy Brillo pad curls?" Do you just get sick of styling your hair, so you decide that all those curly curls will trick you into thinking that you have styled your hair when in fact you have not? Do you have a poodle and so you are attracted to the look? Even if you can't get away with it? Have you always liked poodles? Does your man say to you, "Hey honey, why don't you start looking like a poodle now?" Does anyone out there know?

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Because I am a woman who is never going to be able to pull off the poodle look. I do not have enough hair, and it is the wrong texture. And my face is round and it's never going to work for me in any lifetime.

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I have some concerns on how the poodle look eventually squeezes past a woman's beauty filter. When you grow older, do you not only loose the filter from your brain to your mouth, but do you also loose the one that goes from your eyes to the mirror to your brain? This is of concern to me.

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So. Note to my kids: In the future, if I come walking in your front door with a poodle perm, it's time to sit me down and take away my car keys because I have finally lost my filters and my marbles.

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l

I went from looking at hair that was non of my business to finally loosing my marbles before I got off the elevator. I will obviously do anything to avoid eye contact.

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Because you know you all love poodle haired kitties.

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