In my state they have mail in ballots. Remember the wonderful precinct stations, of days gone by? The ones where you'd get a little card in the mail telling you to go to a certain place (your child's elementary school) and on election day they'd have special parking for you, (making you feel all special and pretty) and so you'd park in it and get out of the car and you'd follow little patriotic signs that said VOTE written in the shape of an arrow,
and those signs would direct you to a table full of little old ladies from the league of women voters that would greet you so warmly that you just knew they were professional grandmas in real life, in fact they smelled just like cookies
and they would be in charge of these giant computer print outs with the names of all the registered voters in the precinct and you'd tell them your name (Mommacita please) and they'd have you sign your name, and right below your name you could see that your husband had already voted earlier that morning and signed his name, and you would think, "Oh, the Tim-o-tee, I just love that guy", and then you were given the thumbs up so you could proceed to the flimsy red white and blue cardboard voting booth
and armed with your voters pamphlet (just in case you forgot something) you would carefully vote. And then your new grandma would give you a flag sticker that says "I voted today" on it. And you'd proudly wear it for the rest of the day.
Remember that?
Well today I took my ballot to the Smokers With B.O. Lounge (Department of Motor Vehicles) to personally drop it in the ballot box. This is what the genius's at the DMV came up with for folks to drop their ballots into:
A Rubbermaid box with a slot cut into the side
And for Fort Knox Security the edges of the lid were wrapped a couple of times with this:
And taped to the lid of the Rubbermaid box with the jaggedy slit there was a sign that was made with discarded cardboard from a pantyhose package that said
And taped to the lid of the Rubbermaid box with the jaggedy slit there was a sign that was made with discarded cardboard from a pantyhose package that said "Stick Yer Votes in this Hear Box"
And then there were toothpicks to one side so you could pick your teeth on the way out.
I wanted to pull my toenails out. And no. These are not my real toenails. Don't be stupid lest I tire of you.
7 comments:
I have to admit I have only voted 1time prior to this election. I do remember it went a little like you described. This year mail in all the way. My mom kept telling me the poles would be L-O-N-G, so opted the easier route. Nothing like voting in the nude!
Those toes are going to give me nightmares. Seriously. That and Kasey's previous comment.
That I mailed in my ballot or only voted once before?
Um, sweet little Kasey, my guess is that it was the nude part. I'm sure that Rocky would have liked it, but it might be pushing cousin love too far.
oooooooooh ick! those toes!!! Nothing more to say!
So, I'm a little slow! I forgot I voted in my B-Day suit! What was I thinking?!?! I can see how that would be scary for anyone other than Rocky. He thinks I'm HOT!
In I-Da-ho here we still vote that way. And I do feel so privileged when they say "Shelby Moss has voted" and give you the sticker. And the lines were so short and a pleasurable experience overall (well, except the result). :)
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