Let's just have a big ol' lookey lou at the huge elephant in the room.
I've been a slacker. A big time slacker. And it's not that I haven't had anything to blog about. I'm admitting it. I've slacked. Mommaslacker. Slick Slack Slackstereesta for those of you who speak Espanol. But today we're snowed in from church and there's nothing to do because the BabyDaddy is back and I am no longer in the Daddycita role. So I'm going to blog instead of get out of my pajamas on this snowy day. So maybe I'll write about something I could have blogged about if I had been a blogger in the past 21 days. Not that anyone was counting. Or caring. (Insecurity Binkie Anyone?)
Like I could tell you about the time I dragged a newborn and his mother to Costco and while we were in there it went from being a beautiful sunny day to getting dark and pouring down buckets of water and it was cold and I had no coat and the umbrella was in the trunk of the car and I left the newborn and his protector in Costco while I went to get the car only I couldn't remember where I parked it. So there I was, in the dark rainy parking lot walking to and fro, and to and fro in the wet wondering where my short term memory had gone. And I couldn't concentrate on finding the car because I could only think about feeling sorry for myself because I was getting soaked. So I went back into Costco and got a stupid Costco travel booklet that had pictures of people in their swim suits on the beach to use for a hat (no, I didn't fold it into a hat, because THAT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK STUPID. I just opened it up and held it there for a hat, wishing all the while it had a chin strap...because I would have used a chin strap, stupid or no, because the wind had kicked up) and so I went back to walking to and fro some more, this time concentrating on why does this junk happened to me which once again didn't help me find the car. So then I reached that point on the emotional thermometer that says DESPERATE and I actually considered running into Costco crying and asking the employees for help. I actually thought this. And in my thought scenario I saw myself running in there screaming like I had been robbed or stabbed. So I had lost not only my short term memory but my ability to reason, because I almost did it. Can you imagine? The only thing that stopped me was that I also imagined the Costco Employee Lunchroom filled with Costco employees laughing about me. And maybe blogging about me. Because employees love to pass along stupid moron stories.
So I gave myself a slap in the face and girded up my loins and found my stupid car. And my daughter admitted she had laughed at me while she was waiting there watching it all happen but was stabbed with guilt so then she prayed for me. And I'm sure that her prayer and my slapping incident happened simultaneously. It is Sunday after all and I should tell a Churchie story that will inspire you to live a better life.
Orrrrrrrrr, I could tell you how much I love babies. Babies that belong to my family. I could tell you how much of a pleasure it has been hold, cuddle, sniff, soothe, change, rock, pacify, bathe, lotion, massage, observe and run my lips over a baby's cheeks. And I could tell you how much I've liked watching his mother turn into a mother. It has been a joy. I've been taught my whole life that your posterity can bring you joy. It is the truth. I could also tell you how much I've appreciated the opportunity to live side by side with that mother and baby for the last six weeks. I could tell you what a privilege that has been for me. I could post about that.
But using my greatly honed ability to reason skills I decided that you needed a Churchie story.
I've been a slacker. A big time slacker. And it's not that I haven't had anything to blog about. I'm admitting it. I've slacked. Mommaslacker. Slick Slack Slackstereesta for those of you who speak Espanol. But today we're snowed in from church and there's nothing to do because the BabyDaddy is back and I am no longer in the Daddycita role. So I'm going to blog instead of get out of my pajamas on this snowy day. So maybe I'll write about something I could have blogged about if I had been a blogger in the past 21 days. Not that anyone was counting. Or caring. (Insecurity Binkie Anyone?)
Like I could tell you about the time I dragged a newborn and his mother to Costco and while we were in there it went from being a beautiful sunny day to getting dark and pouring down buckets of water and it was cold and I had no coat and the umbrella was in the trunk of the car and I left the newborn and his protector in Costco while I went to get the car only I couldn't remember where I parked it. So there I was, in the dark rainy parking lot walking to and fro, and to and fro in the wet wondering where my short term memory had gone. And I couldn't concentrate on finding the car because I could only think about feeling sorry for myself because I was getting soaked. So I went back into Costco and got a stupid Costco travel booklet that had pictures of people in their swim suits on the beach to use for a hat (no, I didn't fold it into a hat, because THAT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK STUPID. I just opened it up and held it there for a hat, wishing all the while it had a chin strap...because I would have used a chin strap, stupid or no, because the wind had kicked up) and so I went back to walking to and fro some more, this time concentrating on why does this junk happened to me which once again didn't help me find the car. So then I reached that point on the emotional thermometer that says DESPERATE and I actually considered running into Costco crying and asking the employees for help. I actually thought this. And in my thought scenario I saw myself running in there screaming like I had been robbed or stabbed. So I had lost not only my short term memory but my ability to reason, because I almost did it. Can you imagine? The only thing that stopped me was that I also imagined the Costco Employee Lunchroom filled with Costco employees laughing about me. And maybe blogging about me. Because employees love to pass along stupid moron stories.
So I gave myself a slap in the face and girded up my loins and found my stupid car. And my daughter admitted she had laughed at me while she was waiting there watching it all happen but was stabbed with guilt so then she prayed for me. And I'm sure that her prayer and my slapping incident happened simultaneously. It is Sunday after all and I should tell a Churchie story that will inspire you to live a better life.
Orrrrrrrrr, I could tell you how much I love babies. Babies that belong to my family. I could tell you how much of a pleasure it has been hold, cuddle, sniff, soothe, change, rock, pacify, bathe, lotion, massage, observe and run my lips over a baby's cheeks. And I could tell you how much I've liked watching his mother turn into a mother. It has been a joy. I've been taught my whole life that your posterity can bring you joy. It is the truth. I could also tell you how much I've appreciated the opportunity to live side by side with that mother and baby for the last six weeks. I could tell you what a privilege that has been for me. I could post about that.
But using my greatly honed ability to reason skills I decided that you needed a Churchie story.
How could I not fall in love?
PS. Me telling my absolutely true Churchie story is almost the same as me speaking in church so I think that maybe I should tell the leaders of my congregation that I had my turn speaking in church today so go ahead and check me off on the list. Oh, you know they're falling for it.
9 comments:
He is a good looking boy for sure! Glad you decided an update was in order.
Hooray! You're back! :)
Oh, mommacita, I've missed you... missed reading your blog, missed your oh-so-descriptive narrative. Chin strap, indeed? I would have paid to see that.
It's a good thing grandmas don't melt when they get rained on, puked on, burped on, pooped on, peed on......well, you get get my drift....what we wouldn't do for these sweeeeeet grandbabes!!
Whew! I was afraid that you had gone blind from trying to dye your eyelashes with your conditioner.
I was getting a little weary of peanut butter and jelly that's for sure.
This grief from a woman who doesn't hardly email, let alone have a blog.
HEMINGWAY...so glad you are back.
Gotta believe you were hitting the unlock button on your fob during the down pour. That has saved me a time or two. So sorry you got dumped on when you had been living so unselfishly - and then you had to sacrafice again for the sake of a churchie story.
Little Henry is really a DARLING one! Is so past that newborn look!
Sure hope you get to the Bahamas while they are there - can't think of a better place to ease withdrawal pains.
Oh Auntie Mary, you make me laugh, you make me laugh... and Henry is positively precious. And I was very inspired by your churchie story.
Oh, so funny my dear Auntie Mary!! So, how much longer do you get to be delighted by the presence of that precious baby? Not that I want him to leave, but he is really messing with your ability and willingness to blog. So, I say that if he is going to be there for a while, please post more pictures of him. He is just delicious. Garlocks (and those related) really do make some delicious babies. Now, if only we could get an update on those boots? Love you! Merry Christmas.
Yes. Yes I did punch the alarm button on my key to find the car. However, the artic blast was too loud. But I kept hitting the button like a moron just incase I could hear it. I never heard it.
And I don't wear boots anymore. I've shifted to the everlovely Dansko.
The man child looks like the man man in this picture (aka Matt). Hope all is well and you are enjoying man child #2 and I can't wait for man child #3 to come any day now!!!
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