It's the ADDWAEOTR

I am finally posting because of my neice Annier. She informs that it has been eleven days since the last post. Annie, whilest I had a chuckle at your comment, and I'm still kind of jiggling because of it, I haven't posted for 11 days because I don't know what to say. I have writer's block.

At first I thought it was because of Up Chuck. Up Chuck is my nephew-nephew. Is that what you call a nephew's child? His mommy has been undergoing a stem cell transplant, and every time I would think about my blog, and it's ridiculousness (my TV watching, my getting you to feel sorry for me, my running amok thought processes...) I would just feel shallow and then more shallow. There are people out there (Up Chuck's parents and grandparents and sisters for starters ) who are living life gracefully and dealing with real earth life issues. And I wanted to blog about how wonderful I think they are but I just couldn't do them justice. So I stuttered.

Then I thought I couldn't blog because of the Baby Mama. I had a good blog all started and then she shoved it underground and I was told (with quite a bit of hormone edge) to blog about my own life. Point taken. Although too bad for you because I had really good material about her slipping back into life as it was in high school. Lots of funny stuff about waiting for her boyfriend to call. ZINGADINGDING!

Then I thought the blogging problem was because I was no longer thinking. I am not living with just my thoughts anymore, but I am talking to Baby Mama all day and have no (air quote) blog thoughts (air quote) that would over take my world. I spend my day talking to Baby Mama about TV and mullets and squirrels and dreams instead of creating a little blog world with them. Tim used to say "A card laid is a card played." So by that we logically deduce that he would say: "A thought spoken is a blog that doesn't happen."

This is a theory, and is not meant to change the world. But I think I've stumbled onto something.

Then I thought maybe I can't blog because we're waiting around here for something BIG to happen. Like a live birthing. Everything else seems small in comparison. Maybe it's because I'm so excited I run across the room every time Baby Mama says owie. Or my back hurts. Maybe I am distracted by the rotund. I never knew that about myself. I have ADDWAEOTR. Pronounced Add-way-o-ter. Attention Deficit Disorder With an Emphasis on the Rotund.

Off the subject sidebar: How do women stretch like that???

Anyway, I am trying to save myself from my writers block. I want to blog about the Baby Mama naming her son Maverick, but I just can't get it going. I want to blog about the top ten reasons why I should be in the delivery room, but I have already been invited, so I don't need to pressure anyone with ridiculous reasons. I want to blog about the Mitchmeister, whose birthday is today, and tout how proud I am of that little cowboy. I could have put one of his baby pictures on the blog, you know, one of those where he's only wearing cowboy boots and a holster and nothing else, and I could have put a black strip over his nethers (or his eyes, you pick...but don't bother telling me because it would gross me out too much) and You all would have said Oh, remember when Mitch was running around the neighborhood in his nethers making his Mumzie's blood pressure press in her jugular vein a little to strong? Remember that? That would have been a blog that would have pleased and touched and you all would have had to reach for the Kleenix. And then you all would have had to sit back and remind yourselves to just breathe.

Why oh why can't I just be about the blogging?

Help me O Be One Kanobi. You're my only hope.

Happy Birthday Lil' Tim. You have always been a crowd pleaser. And everybody is thinkin' about that today.