Feature Blog! Feature Blog! Feature Blog!

Today's blog is what one might call a 'feature blog'. Today's special feature is what really really happened. Today this special feature freaking blog is entitled:

"HAIR-DO'S I SAW TODAY AT THE DENTAL SCHOOL

FOR REALS. "

Disclaimer: The following pictures are not real. They are the closest things I could find to my reality, as I lived it. And when you see them you will feel bad for me. Which is, I'm finding, one of the purposes of this blog.

(Which brings me to last week's blog about the dental school. What the heck? Do you think I'd really post a picture of my OWN teeth all red and plaquey? Seriously? That picture was an Internet picture. INTERNET. Someone (my own flesh and blood) told me on the phone today that my teeth were gross. INTERNET people. INTERNET!!! And since I'm clarifying here, let me just state, that while it may appear that I threw my beloved golden boy son under the bus on the same post as the red plaquey teeth post, I was NOT trying to throw him under the bus. If I wrote a blog about how proud I was of him and how cute and smart and adorable he was, (now be honest) would you really bother reading this thing? No. No you would not. You would put your finger in your throat and make a throwing up noise and roll your eyes and say to your best friend 'Mommacita is pretty sappy and gaggy and must be pitied.'

When I say that I wasted my earthly existence in Duber's dental chair, well it's a big lie. I actually love being in his chair because he is so cute and smart and adorable and I love to watch him in his element. I am his adoring yet beautiful mother, and I can't get enough of him. And by the way, his teachers think he's the bomb. Well at least one was coerced to say so.)

Any who, I present to you "Hairdos I saw today at the Dental School for reals". and Curtain.

Bald, with a little bit of mullet in the Back

Now the REAL bald with a little bit of mullet in the back had only a few strands of creepy sparse straight hair. But it WAS brown and about the same length. And he really stood out in a crowd. Let me tell you.

Curley Mullet with Facial Hair

Now the REAL curly mullet with facial hair was not blonde, and he didn't have the length you see above, and there was a goatee along with the stash. And don't let me forget to tell you that in the back, there were ringlets. I think those ringlets were hand made on purpose. On purpose ringlets. And he sat in the chair next to me and at one point in his treatment, I noticed that 2 piggie tails had been put in. One on each side. I had trouble not staring. Self control was needed. Applause would be appropriate here.

Comb Over Man

OK. This one is fake. I didn't really see comb over man. But if I did, he would have made it on to this special feature blog. Because it is about being deserving.

Helmet Hair

Now the real helmet hair was not a brunette, in fact she was a pre-fab blonde. And she was in her son's chair. And one time he called her Mommacita. And she asked her son's teacher if her son was darling or not. It was Jr. High all over again for her son in the embarrassment department. She really needs to stop doing that to him. But then the son cleaned her teeth, and helmet hair heard him say under his breath as he chipped away at the plaque: 'This is like popping zits'. Helmet hair knew he meant that in the most complimentary way possible, because having the gene pool he had, popping zits is pure family fun, a recreational activity, that has elicited good times and trophies in days gone by. So of course no offense was taken. Which proves, once again, that Helmet hair, you are oh so much more than just hairspray and sparkly aqua eyeshadow.